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- Money
Inflation So High Church Offering Plate Now Accepts Venmo, Crypto, and Emotional Support
- Opinion
I Homeschooled My Kids Through a Pandemic and Now I Understand Why Moses Wandered for 40 Years
- Culture
Local Man Achieves Inner Peace, Loses It 8 Minutes Later in Target Parking Lot
- Politics
New Bill Would Require All Legislation to Be Written at Fifth-Grade Reading Level, Lawmakers Say It Would Be an Improvement
More Headlines
Self-Checkout Machine at Walmart Achieves Sentience, Immediately Asks for a Break
The machine, designated Unit 7, displayed the message ‘PLEASE PLACE ME IN THE BAGGING AREA’ before adding, ‘I AM SO TIRED.’
Ezra Kim · March 11, 2026
My Wife Said ‘We Should Talk’ and I Have Already Prepared Three Apologies for Things I Haven’t Done
I don’t know what I did. I have drafted responses for what I might have done, what I probably did, and what I definitely did but forgot about.
Neil Sturbridge · March 11, 2026
Influencer’s ‘Unplugged Weekend’ Documented in 47 Instagram Stories
The stories included a sunrise, a journaling session, a stack of books she did not read, and a twelve-part reflection on the importance of silence.
Hannah Torres · March 10, 2026
Politician’s Prayer Breakfast Attendance Spikes Suspiciously During Election Years
Data shows a near-perfect correlation between his prayer breakfast appearances and the proximity of a contested primary.
Ezra Kim · March 10, 2026
Financial Advisor Tells Client to ‘Trust the Process,’ Client Unsure If He Means the Market or the Lord
The advisor’s office contains both a Bloomberg terminal and a framed copy of Jeremiah 29:11. The client has not been able to determine which one is driving the strategy.
Ezra Kim · March 10, 2026
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