The Daily Babel

Opinion: I Have Spun the Church Roadside Sign Arrow for Fourteen Years and Not One Person Has Asked Which Direction It Points

Man standing alone at suburban intersection on Sunday morning holding a small directional arrow sign

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Man sitting at kitchen table staring at laptop with papers spread out, resigned expression

Man Discovers He Has Been Paying $230/Month Into a Health Savings Account He Cannot Access Because the Email to Activate It Went to a Defunct AOL Address From 2003

Fourteen years of contributions now sit in a dormant HSA linked to an account no one can recover, pending a security question about a childhood pet named Biscuit.

Hannah Torres · April 28, 2026

Cluttered suburban garage with open storage bins and a foam costume draped over the edge

Family

Dad Who Saved Kids' Halloween Costumes 'For the Memories' Discovers He Can Still Fit Into the Shark One

Fourteen years of sentimental storage concludes with a man standing in a garage in a children's shark costume that technically closes.

Hannah Torres · April 28, 2026

Old ring of unlabeled keys resting on a cardboard box inside a dim church storage closet

Church Life

Church Discovers Ring of 14 Unlabeled Keys in Deacon Closet, No Living Member Knows What Any of Them Unlock

The keys, believed to date to the 1980s renovation, have been passed from deacon to deacon for four decades with no accompanying documentation.

Miriam Pressley · April 28, 2026

Empty congressional hearing room with leather chairs, mahogany desks, and American flags

Politics

Congressman Proposes Commission to Study Term Limits After 28 Years in Office

Rep. Gerald Foss says the American people deserve a thorough, multi-year review of whether anyone should be allowed to do what he has been doing since 1998.

Hannah Torres · April 28, 2026

Dusty open binder on a church conference table surrounded by empty folding chairs

Church Life

Church Constitution Last Amended in 1994 Discovered to Still Require Members to Own a VCR

The bylaws revision committee, formed in 2019 to address the issue, has not yet met.

Miriam Pressley · April 27, 2026

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Opinion: I Have Spun the Church Roadside Sign Arrow for Fourteen Years and Not One Person Has Asked Which Direction It Points

Top Stories

Congressman Schedules Mandatory Unity Retreat for Colleagues, Holds It During Congressional Recess When No One Is in Washington

I've Folded the Baptism Towels at First Methodist for Nineteen Years and I Would Like to Know If Anyone Has Ever Noticed

Man Who Transferred Balance to Zero-Percent APR Card in 2018 Discovers Promotional Rate Expired Eight Years Ago

I've Folded the Church Bulletin for Seventeen Years and I Know Exactly How Many People Throw It Away Without Reading It

More Headlines

Man Discovers He Has Been Paying $230/Month Into a Health Savings Account He Cannot Access Because the Email to Activate It Went to a Defunct AOL Address From 2003

Dad Who Saved Kids' Halloween Costumes 'For the Memories' Discovers He Can Still Fit Into the Shark One

Church Discovers Ring of 14 Unlabeled Keys in Deacon Closet, No Living Member Knows What Any of Them Unlock

Congressman Proposes Commission to Study Term Limits After 28 Years in Office

Church Constitution Last Amended in 1994 Discovered to Still Require Members to Own a VCR

Stay Informed. Stay Amused.

Opinion: I Have Spun the Church Roadside Sign Arrow for Fourteen Years and Not One Person Has Asked Which Direction It Points

Top Stories

Congressman Schedules Mandatory Unity Retreat for Colleagues, Holds It During Congressional Recess When No One Is in Washington

I've Folded the Baptism Towels at First Methodist for Nineteen Years and I Would Like to Know If Anyone Has Ever Noticed

Man Who Transferred Balance to Zero-Percent APR Card in 2018 Discovers Promotional Rate Expired Eight Years Ago

I've Folded the Church Bulletin for Seventeen Years and I Know Exactly How Many People Throw It Away Without Reading It

More Headlines

Man Discovers He Has Been Paying $230/Month Into a Health Savings Account He Cannot Access Because the Email to Activate It Went to a Defunct AOL Address From 2003

Dad Who Saved Kids' Halloween Costumes 'For the Memories' Discovers He Can Still Fit Into the Shark One

Church Discovers Ring of 14 Unlabeled Keys in Deacon Closet, No Living Member Knows What Any of Them Unlock

Congressman Proposes Commission to Study Term Limits After 28 Years in Office

Church Constitution Last Amended in 1994 Discovered to Still Require Members to Own a VCR

Stay Informed. Stay Amused.

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