Top Stories
- Opinion
I've Folded the Church Bulletin for Seventeen Years and I Know Exactly How Many People Throw It Away Without Reading It
- Money
Man Discovers He Has Been Paying $230/Month Into a Health Savings Account He Cannot Access Because the Email to Activate It Went to a Defunct AOL Address From 2003
- Church Life
Church Constitution Last Amended in 1994 Discovered to Still Require Members to Own a VCR
- Money
Man Discovers His Employer Has Been Direct-Depositing His Paycheck to the Wrong Account for Eleven Years
More Headlines
Church's 'You Are Welcome Here' Banner Has Been Torn in Half Since 2019, Now Reads 'You Are'
The hospitality team confirms the message is theologically sufficient and no replacement has been ordered.
Miriam Pressley · April 27, 2026
Man Activates Airplane Mode for Four-Hour Flight, Emerges With Fully Formed Theology
Forced offline for the first time in nine years, a Dayton man discovered thoughts that were entirely his own.
Ezra Kim · April 27, 2026
Church Rummage Sale Pricing Committee Enters Third Year Without Pricing a Single Item
Eleven boxes of donated goods remain in the fellowship hall pending a final consensus on what constitutes a fair price for a used Crockpot.
Miriam Pressley · April 27, 2026
Congressman Retires After 22 Years in Office, Discovers He Has No Opinions of His Own
Rep. Gerald Foss, 71, of Akron returns to civilian life only to find he cannot complete a sentence without checking polling data first.
Ezra Kim · April 27, 2026
Man Automates Every Area of His Life With Calendar Reminders, Receives Notification He Has Not Been Spontaneous Since 2019
A Fresno man's aggressive use of scheduled reminders has achieved total life coverage, including a recurring Wednesday alert to 'feel grateful.'
Ezra Kim · April 27, 2026
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