Top Stories
- Money
Inflation So High Church Offering Plate Now Accepts Venmo, Crypto, and Emotional Support
- Opinion
I Homeschooled My Kids Through a Pandemic and Now I Understand Why Moses Wandered for 40 Years
- Culture
Local Man Achieves Inner Peace, Loses It 8 Minutes Later in Target Parking Lot
- Politics
New Bill Would Require All Legislation to Be Written at Fifth-Grade Reading Level, Lawmakers Say It Would Be an Improvement
More Headlines
Self-Checkout Machine at Walmart Achieves Sentience, Immediately Asks for a Break
The machine, designated Unit 7, displayed the message ‘PLEASE PLACE ME IN THE BAGGING AREA’ before adding, ‘I AM SO TIRED.’
Ezra Kim · March 11, 2026
My Wife Said ‘We Should Talk’ and I Have Already Prepared Three Apologies for Things I Haven’t Done
I don’t know what I did. I have drafted responses for what I might have done, what I probably did, and what I definitely did but forgot about.
Neil Sturbridge · March 11, 2026
Church Discovers $4,200 Memorial Fund in Its Own Accounts, No Living Member Knows What It Memorializes
The Dorothea Fennick Memorial Fund has sat untouched since 1987, and leadership has agreed it would feel wrong to spend it.
Miriam Pressley · March 11, 2026
Man Refinances Mortgage to Save $47 a Month, Spends $3,200 in Closing Costs on Celebration Dinner
The Hendersons of Naperville are, financially speaking, further behind than when they started.
Hannah Torres · March 11, 2026
Mom Who Said She'd 'Make Everyone Dentist Appointments This Week' Marks Third Anniversary of the Statement
The family's teeth remain unscheduled, though Janet Kowalski, 44, maintains the appointments are 'basically already made.'
Hannah Torres · March 11, 2026
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