Sunday School Lesson on Plagues of Egypt Leads to Record Vaccination Turnout at Local CVS
Top Stories
- Technology
Apple’s New AI Siri Achieves ‘On-Screen Awareness,’ Immediately Judges User’s Screen Time
- Culture
Area Man’s Prayers for World Peace Entering Third Consecutive Overtime
- Money
First-Time Homebuyer Celebrates Mortgage Rate Dropping to ‘Only’ 6%, Throws Party Nobody Can Afford to Attend
- Church Life
Church Youth Group Attempts ‘2016 vs 2026’ TikTok Trend, Accidentally Films Entire Sermon
More Headlines
Worship Leader Adds Seventh Chorus of ‘One More Time’ as Congregation Visibly Ages
By chorus six, a deacon had quietly ordered lunch on his phone. The bass player has accepted his fate.
Joel Whitaker · March 3, 2026
Study Finds Average Toddler Has More Screen Time Than Seminary Student Has Prayer Time
Researchers initially thought the data was an error. A parent defended the screen time, saying “Veggie Tales counts as discipleship.”
Miriam Pressley · March 4, 2026
Man Who Bet on Prediction Market Claims Gift of Prophecy, Requests Tax-Exempt Status
His LinkedIn now says ‘Prophet | Futures Trader | Blessed.’
Ezra Kim · March 5, 2026
Local Dad Reports Gas Prices to Family with Same Urgency as Apostle Paul Writing to the Churches
His messages begin ‘Beloved’ and include phrases like ‘I write to you with a heavy heart’ about a 4-cent increase at the Exxon on Main Street.
Hannah Torres · March 6, 2026
Pastor Relieved AI Can’t Replace Him Until It Learns to Make Eye Contact During Altar Call
‘The Look’ — a specific combination of eye contact, raised eyebrow, and slight head tilt — has resulted in 340 conversions over his 30-year career.
Joel Whitaker · March 3, 2026
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